“Cool Guy 2”
[SEAN:] This is quite the chill night. kicking back on the beach with a fine girl such as yourself.
[GIRL #2:] Yeah, the waves are so calming.
[SEAN:] So, is your body looking like michaelangelo made you or some shit.
[GIRL #2:] Thanks Sean, that’s so sweet.
[Sean presses ‘play’ button on tape player]
[SEAN:] Let’s see what’s going on under this velvet top of yours.
[GIRL #2:] Uh-oh.
[SEAN:] Oh calming, your coming off strong with some beautiful waves of your own there, baby.
[GIRL #2:] Oh Sean, you’re so cute.
[SEAN:] Why don’t we leave the summer skirt on, but let’s take those fine panties passed those long, strong legs of yours, hmm?
[GIRL #2:] Oh my god.
[SEAN:] Yeah.
[GIRL #2:] And how about you take off clothes, Sean.
[SEAN:] Oh, oh is that right, baby? You want me to show my stuff, too?
[GIRL #2:] My god, you look good, Sean.
[SEAN:] Yeah, yeah baby I keep in shape, you know.
[GIRL #2:] Ooh.
[she starts to unbuckle his pants]
[SEAN:] Yeah, unbuckle my pants, move hands on my wet weiner and let’s get it swingin’.
[GIRL #2:] What’s that?
[SEAN:] Let’s get it swingin’.
[GIRL #2:] No, the other thing you said?
[SEAN:] …The wet-weiner?
[GIRL #2:] [gasps] You know what?
[SEAN:] Yeah?
[GIRL #2:] I’m going to go throw up, now. See you.
[SEAN:] Hmm, leave me all horny here. How… how you going to get home there, baby?
[GIRL #2:] I’ll walk. [She begins to walk away]
[SEAN:] Mm-hm. I’m-a call you.
[GIRL #2:] Don’t. [She’s gone]
[SEAN:] A’ight, A’ight. I’m go in for a swim anyways, you know that baby. [to self:] Going to get this swing-ding wet somehow. Salted off the rubarbs, ain’t that a bitch?
[THE END]
About Cool Guy 2
Artist: Adam Sandler
Related Songs: The Peeper
Album: Stan And Judy’s Kid
Released: September 21, 1999
Genre: Comedy
Length: 75:20
Label: Warner Bros.
Producer: Brooks Arthur, Adam Sandler, L. Mo Weber